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A Rest Stop From Depression and Thoughts of Suicide
Depression, Suicide:
Cognitive-Emotional Self-Help
Stephen L. Bernhardt
Volume II
Cognitive-Emotional self help for Depression (Getting Started)
I many times refer to our depressed conscious and unconscious minds in the third person. This is extremely beneficial when we are trying to determine what has gone wrong and what we might do in order to reverse the depressive response. We can remove ourselves from our depressed mind, step back and objectively evaluate our options.
This disassociation of the depressed mind from the true self is not to be used to hide from our depression and that which triggers the depressive response. It is used to regain control of our life situation and of our emotions, in order to end the depression. In fact, the depressed mind is not who we are, it is what our depression has caused us to become. The goal then is the return of the true self, less depressed and maybe a little more able to love and to enjoy.
Depression robs us of those things we most enjoy. And so we all wait, and long for the return of the endorphins of joy, of love, of contentment, and the comfort of control. These things are possible to regain, for they still reside inside us, only now they are in a depressed mind which will not allow us access. In order to free the true self we must regain control. That takes hard work, directed effort, and most of all an understanding of the depressive response.
LOSS OF CONTROL:
When we are depressed our life is out of control. We cannot control our emotions or our mood. Personal interaction becomes strained and our social skills deteriorate. Our anger and/or our despair become intense and these reactions allow our life situation and other people to exercise control over us.
When we loose control over our emotional reactions the biological unconscious mind initiates the depressive response. The depressive response changes our brain chemistry in a way which dampens or diminishes our emotional reaction. This is used as protection against emotional reactions which are out of control and if left unabated would destroy us.
Although the depressive response does protect us from self destruction, it is not a solution, but a reversible interim state which continues until a solution is found. If no solution is found the depression will remain and in many cases will worsen. That is where the conscious mind comes into play.
Now let us step back and objectively evaluate what role the conscious mind has in this scenario. The conscious mind serves two functions in relation to the unconscious mind. First, it gives the unconscious mind feedback beyond that which the other five senses are able to provide. This feedback is needed because we live in an extremely complex environment which is beyond the realm of the natural world and is a product of our own intellect.
Secondly, the conscious mind is charged with the responsibility of providing solutions which will relieve any undue or unresolved stress that is outside the bounds of our genetic tolerance for stress, thus our intellect. But, given our complex and sometimes abusive environment, the intellect of our conscious mind many times cannot provide solutions which relieve undue or unresolved stress.
For purposes of clarity (I hope) I will illustrate the relationship between the conscious and the unconscious minds as if they communicated directly. (They do not) The unconscious mind does not think as does the conscious mind, nor does it initiate any action of its own accord, but only reacts in a manner consistent with our genetic heritage as influenced by environmental input.
The unconscious mind sends automatic thoughts into the conscious (driven by undo or unresolved stress) in order for the conscious mind to give needed feedback and to provide solutions to the problem. The problem I am referring to is that which causes undo stress (loss of something dear, situational loss of control), or unresolved stress (stress as a result of abuse, lack of nurturing and neglect, and learned depression). More about this in a later article.
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"A Short Play, in the Mind"
UNCONSCIOUS MIND "Look I been keeping you preoccupied with this problem and sending you strong emotional responses, I need some feedback. Have you solved this problem yet? Is the emotional dosage strong enough, should I increase the dosage? Yo, you awake! Give me a sign."
CONSCIOUS MIND "Hey, its a jungle out here. I've tried everything I can think of, I can't solve the problem, I don't think there is a solution. No one out here understands my problem, some think I'm crazy, sometimes I think I'm crazy. I feel so all alone, even when I'm with someone." "You know I've had a hard life, but I survived, I did what it took and learned ways to make the pain better, yes I survived!" "But now that I am older, it seems that the methods of coping I used while growing up are no longer working and they seem to be getting me into trouble, they no longer solve my problems." "Everything seems so hopeless." "I think that you can tell by my constant dwelling on the negative in my life, that you should increase the emotional dosage"
UNCON. MIND (to itself) "Yea right, increase the dosage? That's what I've been doing for the last few years, what good has it done? This outer world person is on the edge, they are in trouble. If I don't do something soon we will both be destroyed! That's it! I'm shutting it down!
UNCON. MIND (to con. mind) "You are out of control. I'm taking over control. The first thing I'm going to do is depress this mind and body, we must keep our emotions from destroying us. Next, I think it is deplorable that you can't solve our problems, therefore I am going to give you motivation. Pain is a great motivater, you are going to feel a lot of pain unless you do something to correct the problem."
Note: Exit, one player, the original CONSCIOUS MIND, into a recess of the mind which is very difficult to exit from.
Enter, THE DEPRESSED CONSCIOUS MIND "Enough with the pain already! I'm doing the best that I can. I can not solve our problems. I lay in bed much of the day and go over and over our problems looking for an answer, but that only makes it worse. People are so cruel, those pains from our past will not go away, my sleeping and eating are out of whack, I feel so worthless."
UNCON MIND "You know that I have been programmed with a low tolerance of stress, its been in our family for years. I can't take much more of this, you must find solutions!"
DEPRESSED MIND "I've been giving this a lot of thought, been asking around. I think I've found some answers to our dilemma. When things get bad I been cutting myself. Oh, I know it hurts us but it helps make the pain up here in our mind go away, I need the rest. The girl down the street, she doesn't eat much anymore. I said that I thought she was wasting away, but she said it gives her control and helps ease the pain." "Greatest news of all. I heard of a better place to go. Its a place we can hide, away from all this pain and suffering. All we need do is shed ourselves of this worldly body and we can sit on a cloud and look down and be protected from all the crap down here on earth. One act and all the pain goes away!"
UNCON MIND "Sounds good, you been working hard. I'm going to help you out here. When the stress gets bad, I'm going to automatically bring these solutions to your mind. That way you don't have to waste so much time thinking about it." "I think this depression thing is working out, we need this depression, we're on the threshold of something big-good job!"
DEPRESSED MIND "Boy am I pissed! I met this guy the other day, he's been talking trash, I'm so confused I don't know what to do. He says that we don't need this depression, that there are other solutions. You and I know that we are out of options, that there are no solutions to our worldly problems. But he says it is the depression and that the depressed mind, through negative ruminations only thinks that there are no other options left. There are other ways to ease the pain!"
"Get this, he has put the kabosh on our better place theory! He says that sitting on a cloud calmly looking down on the events on earth free from pain, are the things that fairy tales and movies are made of, it doesn't happen. The only place we are destined for is the local cemetery! He says the better place is right here on earth, but our depression shields it from our eyes, our minds and our hearts."
Note: Enter a new player, or let us say a rejuvenated old player brought to light by the guy who is upsetting the apple cart.
THE TRUE SELF aka CONSCIOUS MIND "You jerks!
He's right, you know. I can't believe it, a conspiracy
between members of my own self to destroy us all. I am not
sure exactly how I will do it, mostly I'm going to listen to this
guy - I like his logic, but there is one thing I know for sure.
I - CHOOSE - LIFE."
End of scene, fade to light!
The unconscious mind becomes addicted to the process of depression and suicidal thoughts to such an extent that it 'thinks' that our depression is an intrinsic part of our hope for survival and it 'perceives' that suicide is a possible solution. It is not unlike an addiction to drugs or alcohol where the substance becomes germane to the unconscious and it is 'perceived' that our survival depends on the continued consumption of this highly addictive substance. That is why, even when we rid ourselves of the physical addiction of drugs or alcohol, the psychological addiction remains.
Anyone who becomes upset with my writing should know that it is their depressed conscious mind and the addicted unconscious minds causing this to happen. They do not want to give up the control they have established.
The fact is, that the conscious mind does not possess an intrinsic knowledge of the either the cause or the cure of depression. It is a purely biological response of the unconscious mind, a process which the conscious mind is not privy to, nor can it directly control.
But this does not stop the depressed mind from trying to fulfill its basic mandate of providing solutions which relieve unresolved stress and now the added pain of depression. The 'solutions' which the depressed mind comes up with are a reaction to end or hide from the symptoms of stress and depression, they are not solutions which are designed to end depression. (the depressed mind does not know how to end depression)
Therefore the depressed mind rationalizes and justifies thoughts and actions which give us temporary relief from the pain of unresolved stress and the pain of depression. The unconscious mind becomes addicted to these processes because it receives positive feedback which allows it to keep the emotions within the bounds of our genetic tolerance for stress.
Cognitive-Emotional Self Help for Depression is designed to first, educate the true self about how the conscious and unconscious minds interact. This allows the true self to formulate solutions which will end depression, reversing the depressed minds tendency to provide solutions which prolong and worsen depression. Secondly, Cognitive-Emotional Self Help provides exercises which address the addictive nature of the unconscious mind. Reinforcement of the negative is stopped, thereby allowing the more positive true self to re emerge and take control.
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© Stephen L. Bernhardt - 1996-2001
Depression Newsletter A *free* monthly newsletter exploring the relationship between the depressed conscious mind and the addicted unconscious mind. Includes the complete text of my Cognitive-Emotional Self-Help Program.
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