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A Rest Stop From Depression and Thoughts of Suicide
Depression, Suicide:
Cognitive-Emotional Self-Help
Stephen L. Bernhardt
Volume III
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PROBLEM SOLVING
Last month I covered the relationship between the conscious and the unconscious minds when we are depressed. I explained how the depressed conscious and the addicted unconscious minds contrive misdirected solutions to relieve undo and unresolved stress. This in light of the fact that the conscious mind is unable to relieve stress by solving our life problems through traditional means.
Now I would like to explore the everyday scenarios which contribute to our ending in a depressed state and how we worsen or prolong our depression. The conscious mind is charged with the responsibility of relieving undo and unresolved stress. The unconscious mind presents automatic thoughts concerning problems which need to be resolved. The conscious mind then investigates possible solutions to the problem. But the depressed mind tends to discount all possible solutions because it has evidence from past experience that the solutions will not work.
"God has forsaken me"
"I am the unluckiest bastard on the face of this earth"
"I never get a break"
"They are all against me"
"No one understands me"
"I am so all alone"
These negative ruminations soon take over the problem solving session and the conscious mind begins to concentrate less on solving problems and instead fixates on the pain of depression. Although the unconscious mind uses psychological pain in order to motivate the conscious mind to relieve stress, this is not always possible given the complex and sometimes abusive environment we live in.
Depending on what phase of depression we are currently experiencing and on our personal genetic propensities, we then begin to anger and/or despair. We think of reprisals and pay backs as our anger builds, or we drive ourselves deeper into despair as the possible options to resolve our stress begin to disappear.
At this point the conscious mind does not give up, driven by psychological pain the depressed conscious mind begins to devise alternative methods to relieve the pain of unresolved stress and the pain of depression. The solutions may take many different forms depending on our life situation, our past experiences and our genetic propensities.
1. Withdrawal. We hide from that which causes stress by spending hours in bed or seldom leaving the house. Social interaction is painful and kept to a minimum.
2. Self injury. Some of us cause ourselves physical pain in order to gain relief from the psychological pain of depression and unresolved stress.
3. Obsessive-compulsive acts. Putting the brain on hold by repeating a mindless act, over and over.
4. Personality disorders. Becoming someone else who is not subject to the pain experienced by the true self. Someone who is able to exercise a degree of control, in a life out of control.
5. Obsessive control. Exercising control over something or
someone to the point of obsession in an effort to compensate
for the lack of control over the pain of unresolved stress and
the pain of depression.
a. Eating disorders.
b. Abuse of others in an effort to control them.
6. The death fantasy. Finding relief from the pain of life by fantasizing that we are dead. Sometimes we vision that we have gone to a better place, other times we don’t care where we go or what happens to us, we just want the pain to stop.
All of these behaviors or thoughts give us a sort of relief from our pain and thereby provide the unconscious mind positive feedback. In short order they become conditioned responses, where the unconscious mind ‘perceives’ that they are essential to the continuation of the existence of self. (We become addicted to these thoughts and behaviors)
Over time the problem solving sessions deteriorate from thoughts of how to solve life problems, into a flight to the addictive thoughts and behaviors which afford us temporary relief from the pain. If there is no intervention to stop this process we approach a point where we begin to loose conscious free will and become a slave to our addicted unconscious mind.
COGNITIVE-EMOTIONAL SELF HELP
The goal of this phase of the self help program is to change the ‘problem solving’ session from one that deepens despair and prolongs or worsens depression, into a session which begins to reverse the addictions of the unconscious mind and provides the conscious mind with solutions that are therapeutic in nature and designed to eventually end the depression.
1. It is essential that you begin to consciously realize just when the session first begins. Most of the time it will follow just after what I refer to as either the ‘Flash of Anger, or the Flush of Despair’. This is when a situation, a person or a past memory triggers an intense emotional response so overpowering that it drives us into a problem solving session. What form this session takes depends on what phase of the depression we are currently experiencing.
a. Problem solving phase. This is where we are still trying to actively find solutions to our worldly problems.
b. Alternative solutions phase. At this point we have mostly given up on trying to solve our worldly problems and begin to devise alternative thought processes and behaviors which are designed to relieve the pain we are experiencing.
c. Clinical depression phase. We are now fully consumed by the depression and the addicted unconscious mind causes us to flee directly into thoughts of suicide or one of our other alternative solutions, immediately after the flash of anger or the flush of despair is triggered.
2. Once we have identified just when our ‘problem solving’ sessions begin, we need to begin working on reversing these addictions or conditioned responses of the unconscious mind. This is an extremely difficult process, as the unconscious will resist our efforts and continue to present us with the ‘solutions’. In fact, when we first start, the unconscious will bombard us with automatic thoughts in a renewed effort to hang on to the addictions.
3. When these automatic thoughts are presented to the
conscious mind they must be stopped, the moment they are
presented. If they are allowed to remain in the conscious mind,
they will be reinforced. The unconscious mind will then have
confirmation that these alternative solutions are appropriate
and should continue, or maybe even intensified. Please read
‘Emotional Thought Stopping’
http://www.have-a-heart.com/depression.html
4. But stopping the automatic thoughts of suicide, self mutilation or whatever alternative solution that is presented by the unconscious mind, is not enough. Stopping these thoughts will leave a void which must be filled. In effect the unconscious will ‘think’, "OK you are not reinforcing the suicidal thoughts and I will present them less often and with less intensity, but what are you offering in return, what do I now use to keep our emotions under control, how do I now relieve the stress?"
5. What you offer the unconscious mind in return for presenting the alternative solutions less often and with less intensity, is the therapeutic process. This may be in the form of a talking therapy, medication for depression, this self help program, or a possible combination of all three therapeutic programs.
6. The combination of Emotional Thought Stopping and the renewed, small spark of optimism brought on by the conscious mind providing a workable alternative solution produces a placebo or positive psychosomatic effect. The unconscious mind will respond by presenting automatic thoughts which are more reminiscent of the true self.
WARNING!!
When we first start this program the unconscious mind
will be very resistive. It is not uncommon for the
unconscious to bombard us with suicidal urges or a panic
flight to the safety of our alternative solutions. This is
especially true if, like many of us, the alternative solutions
were devised at a very early age in response to learned
depressive tendencies, reactional tendencies in response
to abuse or neglect, or if we have a strong genetic
propensity to depress.
If you cannot overcome this initial panic where the unconscious wants to hold on to its addictions, there is no reason to despair. It simply means that you will need the help of a competent and caring therapist to help you until you are strong enough to go it on your own.
I must also warn you that there will always be set backs. Depression is episodic and the addictions of the unconscious mind may rear their ugly head at any time during the therapeutic process and even after the depression has lifted. There is no need to panic once you understand the depressive response. The renewed episode will pass if you do not let it take control of your mind. Stick to the program and use Emotional Thought Stopping to help you weather these temporary set backs.
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© Stephen L. Bernhardt - 1996-2001
Depression Newsletter A *free* monthly newsletter exploring the relationship between the depressed conscious mind and the addicted unconscious mind. Includes the complete text of my Cognitive-Emotional Self-Help Program.
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